Took me a while to say goodbye!

I have to be honest to say that I'm a little slow in comprehending what I'm doing when I decide to do something. I know what I want and go get it so I act now then I deal with it, that's how I am made....lol

Did you ever feel a bit let down, sad, dissapointed or even lonely while, whether its at the beginning, the middle or at the end of your "new life" journey?

After realizing that I've hit a loss of 250lbs, was very happy - BUT - when I started to maintain, that's where I dealt with "oh boy, all the foods that I had flushed from my life, I can't have them anymore!" Weird uh?!? People can judge by saying "wow, took you long, aren't you supposed to deal with that in the first few months?!?" We all deal with the steps at different times and with different emotions.

If this is your case of the "let down", hoping it only lasts a few hours until you realize that there's a MUCH bigger picture at the end of the yellow brick road...lol...I always knew my "new" life was going to be so amazing, so I finally let the junk food emotions come to surface and said bebye la la!

Happy Holidays and hoping you have an amazing healthy 2013!

Nathalie

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.
Walter Anderson

I'm still 425lbs!!!!

You're probably thinking "oh that poor thing, her brain is not catching up to her and she still feels obese!" Nope, not at all, my brain followed me every single pound...lol

I remember at my 6-month follow up, after the RD's regular questions of "whatcha eating? - drinking? - vitamins?" etc, came the question "Did you start exercising?". My answer was so easy...NOPE!

My attitude didn't give her the option to argue with me so she was very gentle on how she was going to approach this subject with me...lol...so basically she just explained that if I didn't do "anything" that it was soo bad for muscle mass etc. It didn't register with me at all.

Fast forward 8 months after, this is where the conversation all came back to me. I weigh 175lbs but feel 425lbs. Why? Because I'm not moving, not stretching. Just sit on my ass 24/7!!!

I bend over to pick up something and I bend as I'm 425 or 85 years old. I get up from that bending position, and I have to put my hands on my tighs to push myself up straight. You know when you see ladies bend down lady-like, knees together to bend like wearing a skirt and you don't want your ass showing...lol...I can't even do that half way. I put socks on, I still have to pull my pant leg to get my leg on my knee...I'm 175 for pete's sake, I should be bending like a pretzel...lol

I was so concentrating on my new ways of eating and schedules that I didn't let myself open-minded to the RD's suggestions.

Now I understand!! Now it's registering!! Now I'm doing it!!

À tantôt,
Nathalie

Maintaining

I have decided to start the next step in this journey and that is to maintain.

My amazing husband made a very good comment to me last Friday and it made me realize that I should look outside the box. Sometimes we are so caught up on numbers that we imagined ourselves at, that we get stuck/fixated on that goal. Once he made that comment, it got me thinking and now know that he is right.

I have found my place. I am now standing tall at 5'7" weighing 174. Went from sizes 34/52/6x to 10/34/Medium and feel amazing. Once I get all the skin (neck to knees...lol) removed next year, those sizes will even go down because I can see that the size 10's I have are loose on thighs but because of my panni, I can't go smaller...woot woot...lol

I'm at a perfect weight for ME. I don't care that the BMI calculator is telling me that I'm still overweight. It's NOT about the number for me and I'm soooo happy with my decision.

oh, and hey! Losing 250lbs ain't too shabby wouldn't you agree? lol

Find your place and be amazed that you have found it!

Bonne journée,
Nathalie

22 months - 1 year!

I woke up on one perfect morning, 22 months ago! So determined to do this. Thank goodness I have mama's qualities which, one of them is "extreme stubborness"! (xox mama ahaha) I knew what I wanted and I got exactly what I asked for - gastric bypass, 1 year ago! Best decision I have ever made in my life!

I travelled an amazing distance now that I reflect back. Oddly enough to some of you, I was never unhappy with my weight, my health condition or my looks. Heck, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I was an absolute babe at 425lbs...lmao...an "extreme self-confidence" quality that my father passed on to me. Weight and health is an awesome bonus but I know that, for me personally, my #1 reason for changing my lifestyle was to never have restrictions again, in every sense of the word when you are morbidly obese - I was done idling, I wanted to live!

The Support! Yes, I could have done this alone but man oh man I wouldn't have wanted to. The support I have had since day one is simply mind-blowing! I have the most incredible family and friend! All the talks about me, the surgery, the weight loss, the clothes, the sizes, the games they play with me when they try to guess if I lost any lbs on Monday Weigh-Ins...lol. I truly hope you know and understand the immense appreciation I have for you. (Je vous aime pas, je vous adore!). My e-friends from the OH forum - you have given me so much of your wisdom, so much inspiration, so much education - life changing! I will forever be addicted to all of you..lol...you are better then food!

Those who are starting this path - contemplating if it's the right decision, worried, hesitating, intimidated - whatever your fears, erase them forever because LIFE after WLS is a million times more WORTH then living before it!


I was born in 1971 in Témiscaming, QC but I was reborn in 2011 in Toronto, ON


À tantôt,
Nathalie

3lbs overnight - yikes!

So yesterday, husband came to my work to take me out to lunch. We went to Pizza Hut, which I always take their salad from the buffet table. It's my safest choice from the entire menu...lol

Safest? hmmm, not when I added tons of dressing and tons of croutons...lol...after I was done eating, I was so full and only realized after I was done because I ate too fast...it was too good...lol Sure enough, vomitted about an hour after.

Then got home for dinner, started to eat but couldn't, guess I was too full still. So put my dinner back in the fridge and about an hour after, obviously I started to get hungry again.

However, I didn't grab my dinner that I was supposed to eat. I got into a bag of peanuts mixed with little chocolates and ate LOTS.

This morning, I was looking at the scale knowing very well what I was about to see. 3 lbs overnight...too funny...and the only thing I said to myself was, "oh well, damage control"

The reason why I shared this experience is only to make people realize that you shouldn't beat yourself up. I knew what I was doing. Even this morning seeing the 3 extra lbs, I'm ok with it. I'm not going to die because I ate mini pieces of chocolate or ate too much at a restaurant. We know what we are doing as we do it but we decide to continue which, in my opinion, is not the end of the world. AND, I will probably do it again down the road.

For me this journey is not about making me perfect. First, it's about making me healty but it's also about the "addiction process". This path is also all about realizing that we cannot go back to the addiction and to take control of the past addiction if it rises above again!

Just to show you how stubborn I am. I brought the peanut/chocolate bag to work and placed it in my section in the kitchen so I can see it/think about it throughout the day and that it will not control me. I do think about it, trust me, but I will NOT get off my chair to go grab some, that's for sure!

We all have power to control what we want or don't want. The magic is how we want to control that power.

Now please ex-squeeze me, I have about 200kms to run...lol
Keep it real and simple my friends!

À tantot,
Nathalie

Spinach Soufflé Casserole

I have to start with O.M.G...lol

Lately I realized that I wasn't eating food that I loved. Since the surgery actually, I noticed that ALL foods that I loved pre-op that I could still eat post-op really tasted different, not as good and sometimes aweful.

I said to my mom from day 1 of my surgery that I was convinced that the surgeon, as he did my RNY, played with the tasting nerves affecting my brain so I won't like food anymore, hence losing the fun of "wanting" to eat...lmao. I'm silly that way! (Chris, don't comment on that lol).

So here I am trying to find easy recipes on the amazing SparkRecipe website, and found this Spinach Soufflé Casserole so I said what the heck and soooo glad I did. When I sat down for lunch today after the first bite, I thought, "finally a food that is good to the taste!".

So in case you are interested, here's the recipe, a photo of the dish and one of the nutrional value after inputting my ingredients into MyFitnessPal:

5 oz. of spinach (thawed and drained if from frozen which I did)
1 c. cottage cheese non-fat
1 c. Shredded double cheddar (next batch I will use skim to have less fat and calories)
4 egg whites
1 tbsp garlic powder

Mix all ingredients together and cook for 45 minutes at 350.

I have made 6 square cupcakes.

I hope you enjoy as much as I do!

Bonne appétit!
Nathalie

34lbs to go to hit goal..WoOt wOoT

This "Monday Weigh-In" was great for 2 reasons...lol
1) lost 5 lbs this week
2) it brought me officially in the 180's

WOW, only 34 to go. Well, not "only" but after I look at my numbers and see a loss of 236lbs, 34 seems so small now...lol...I'm really hoping to hit it by Christmas but if I don't, it's all good, I know it'll come to that day!

Oh, and other big news for me is that I totally bought a bike. YAY ME! I never had a bike in my life, not even has a child. My parents would try to put me on one but never was interested therefore, never learned. Probably fell and knowing me, I probably said "why the heck are they giving me something that I fall off?" lol

So it is very interesting to me learning how to do this. With the help of my step-son, I am learning fairly easy...lol...don't know what I was expecting but so weird to try, not even having the concept of how this balance thing is supposed to work...ahahah...I'm a work in progress.

A tantot!
Nathalie

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window … but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

What's your 3 things?

Posted July 17th, 2012

Someone on the OH forum posted a great thread today that I wanted to share.

Here’s the question du jour…lol:
“…I am grateful for many things, but if you had to list three things you are truly grateful for that are directly linked to the fact that you had a bariatric procedure what would they be?”

…and here’s my response…

“Very very good thread…:)

#3 - being comfortable in my own skin, without limitations of things I want to do
#2 - clean bill of health, no more meds
#1 - understanding my addiction, the reasoning behind overeating, controlling the feelings I used to associate with food.

Overall, I’m wayyy a better person physically and mentally because of my RNY.
I sooo appreciate myself for taking the step to do this and sooo appreciate our medical system for helping me get a better life!”

Bonne nuit,
Nathalie

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still"

Dark place

Posted on July 13th, 2012

Well, losing momentum is one thing, but realizing I got to a dark place, that is HUGE! (for me)

On last Monday Weigh-in I was disapointed that I gained 2lbs, but then on Tuesday, went up another 2 and couldn’t believe it.  Now keep in mind that I’m not one to look at the scale numbers and freak out, cuz I don’t, it’s just a number for me so the weight gain didn’t bother me, but I scratched my head on the why part?

Few weeks ago, I bought some cool whip.  Then a few days after, bought some chocolate mousse.  Then bought more because I ate that, every single night without even realizing what I was doing, until last night. As I was getting ready for supper, I had that giddy feeling of “yes! As soon as I’m done having my salad, I’ll have mousse and cool whip” and that brought me joy.  Once I was done eating everything, I started feeling sick to my stomach, obviously because of the portion size and all that junk.  And then the feeling was so weird but like a flashback you see on tv when someone is dying..lol…I saw my entire 2 weeks flash before my eyes..monday, cool whip, tuesday, mousse and cool whip, wednesday, even more and bigger quantity, thursday, yep, you guessed it, friday, omg what the hell am I doing? First I realized that giddy/happy feeling I used to associate with food and that, was the trigger for me.  Was I heading back in that path?  HELL NO!

So I got up, went to the fridge and freezer, got the containers of cool whip, placed them in a bag, tied a knot and went to the garage to put it in the garbage bin. I upped my exercise this week to lose back the 4 lbs I gained and this morning was victory…lol…but the best part is that I realized before it was too late.

I dusted myself off and this morning is a brand new day!

À tantot
Nathalie

“Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

Losing momemtun

Posted on July 6th, 2012

I realized last week that I was losing momemtum.  Of course the weight is doing down less and less and the little happy feeling we have when we see the numbers go down from 3 to 5 a week is now less and less…lol I have about 40 left to go and since I hit that blah phase…lol…I kicked myself in the ass Sunday and now I’m back on track.

In my case, I stopped tracking my food intake and when I did last Saturday, I saw that I was eating 1200-1300 instead of my regular 800-900.  So that was an eye opener for me.   Never excercised and now obviously, I have to exercise to lose the rest, I can’t hope that low calory intake will do ALL the work for me…shit…lol I’m a very “routine” eater.  I eat the same thing months at a time and kinda knew it’s not good but still did it and now I’m trying to alternate at least each dinner meals…lol…the body gets very used to what we do routinely and stops acting.

Also, I noticed that alot of the vets on OH tells us that if you do a workout routine that is the same over and over again, the body stops reacting to that too so if you do that, change up your routine.  

Hope you are having a good day.  Me? it’s always a good day! *wink*
Nathalie

“An intelligent person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn’t try.”  -Jen Knox

Blog transfer

Everything newer was posted to a different blog I was trying out but came back to this one...lol....way better