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July 18, 2012

Dark place

Posted on July 13th, 2012

Well, losing momentum is one thing, but realizing I got to a dark place, that is HUGE! (for me)

On last Monday Weigh-in I was disapointed that I gained 2lbs, but then on Tuesday, went up another 2 and couldn’t believe it.  Now keep in mind that I’m not one to look at the scale numbers and freak out, cuz I don’t, it’s just a number for me so the weight gain didn’t bother me, but I scratched my head on the why part?

Few weeks ago, I bought some cool whip.  Then a few days after, bought some chocolate mousse.  Then bought more because I ate that, every single night without even realizing what I was doing, until last night. As I was getting ready for supper, I had that giddy feeling of “yes! As soon as I’m done having my salad, I’ll have mousse and cool whip” and that brought me joy.  Once I was done eating everything, I started feeling sick to my stomach, obviously because of the portion size and all that junk.  And then the feeling was so weird but like a flashback you see on tv when someone is dying..lol…I saw my entire 2 weeks flash before my eyes..monday, cool whip, tuesday, mousse and cool whip, wednesday, even more and bigger quantity, thursday, yep, you guessed it, friday, omg what the hell am I doing? First I realized that giddy/happy feeling I used to associate with food and that, was the trigger for me.  Was I heading back in that path?  HELL NO!

So I got up, went to the fridge and freezer, got the containers of cool whip, placed them in a bag, tied a knot and went to the garage to put it in the garbage bin. I upped my exercise this week to lose back the 4 lbs I gained and this morning was victory…lol…but the best part is that I realized before it was too late.

I dusted myself off and this morning is a brand new day!

À tantot
Nathalie

“Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

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